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School of Schlock

A podcast for B-movie discussion. A new film is discussed on the 1st and 15th of every month.
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School of Schlock
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Now displaying: Category: horror
Mar 15, 2020

Looking for some snake-based horror, but tired of re-watching Anaconda? Well come check in on this 1970s herpetological horror flicks that has a bunch of rattlesnakes attacking a small Southwestern community! Tom and Ryan regroup to discuss the fanged fury and to touch on related topics like Law and Order (for snakes), the women's liberation movement, and the music of A Muppet Christmas Carol. So put down those hand grenades and listen to our review of Rattlers!

Time Stamps:

0:04:02 - Background

0:13:45 - Back-of-the-box Summary

0:17:55 - Notable Scenes

0:33:30 - The Good

0:39:50 - The Bad

0:54:05 - The Ugly

Feb 15, 2020

Who doesn't appreciate the film Jaws? It might be the single most iconic horror film from the 70's. So iconic that other films tried to copy it...to varied degrees of success. So you might be asking yourself, what would Jaws set at a ski lodge look like? Well look no further than this week's movie! Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss Yeti attacks, and also connections to Psycho, the 1968 Winter Olympics, five-gun salutes, and Ewok/Wampa cross-breeding. It's our review of Snowbeast!

Time Stamps:

0:05:55 - Background

0:25:26 - Back-of-the-box Summary

0:27:05 - Notable Scenes

0:42:05 - The Good

0:52:15 - The Bad

1:07:10 - The Ugly

Nov 15, 2019

Last time we tuned in to Bert I. Gordon to get gargantuan; this time, old Bert is shrinking us down to size. But Honey I Shrunk the Kids this ain't! Join Tom and Ryan as they refuse to shrink away from topics such as misrepresentative movie titles, re-using footage from more well-known films, and of course, doll-maker psychology. It's our review of Attack of the Puppet People!

0:04:45 - Background

0:14:55 - Back-of-the-box Summary

0:17:00 - Notable Scenes

0:31:37 - The Good

0:38:55 - The Bad

0:50:24 - The Ugly

Oct 15, 2019

We're heading on down to the Louisiana bayou to rustle up some gators, people who are turning into gators, and the people who love people turning into gators. Join Tom, Ryan, and special guest Lacey for a deep-dive on this 50's horror flick, where we answer the pressing questions, like "Is it possible to trip over an alligator?" and "How would you use the Ark of the Covenant to power your gator-laser?" It's our review of The Alligator People!

Time stamps:

0:03:20 - Background

0:19:10 - Back-of-the-box Summary

0:23:40 - Notable Scenes

0:48:28 - The Good

0:59:15 - The Bad

1:14:50 - The Ugly

Oct 3, 2019

Before Hostel, before Saw, and even before Saw 2, what movies could you go see to indulge your taste for torture-horror? OK, now but what if you also lived in Italy in the 1960s? Maybe you would have gone to see this poorly-executed piece of celluloid gothic horror! Join Tom, Ryan, and special guest Ryan Terry for an #AllTheHorror collaborative episode that gets into the finer points of villain costume design, the male gaze, and lounge music soundtracks. It's our review of The Bloody Pit of Horror!

 

Time stamps:

0:04:45 - Background

0:15:45 - Back-of-the-box Summary

0:17:00 - Notable Scenes

0:29:55 - The Good

0:40:20 - The Bad

0:58:53 - The Ugly

Jul 15, 2019

All aboard! We've got a train to catch as we take a look at a 70s horror film featuring an ancient creature that's awake and out for blood! We might get a little off-track as we discuss eyeball-based memories, James Bond villains, and whether or not this is the best (yes, best!) film we've watched for this podcast. So sit your caboose down and listen to our review of The Horror Express!

 

Time stamps:

0:04:00 - Background

0:23:50 - Film Summary

0:52:48 - The Good

1:04:20 - The Bad

1:15:42 - The Ugly

1:22:28 - Improvement

Apr 1, 2019

What would it take to convince a skeptic that the supernatural is real? Would it take unbreakable trances? The foretelling of mysterious deaths? Or maybe just some carnivorous plants? Tom and Ryan watch a 50s horror film that tries to pose these questions, and then delivers disappointing answers. Meanwhile, they discuss casting Austro-Hungarian army members as natives, composing music for SeaWorld, and of course Undone - The Sweater Song by Weezer. It's all part of the experience of Voodoo Island!

 

Time stamps:

0:05:28 - Background

0:29:55 - Film Summary

0:50:35 - The Good

0:57:05 - The Bad

1:12:06 - The Ugly

1:25:25 - Improvements

Feb 15, 2019

They say flying is the safest way to travel, but if that's true then what's with all these demonic entities? Join Tom and Ryan as they review a supernatural horror movie set aboard a 747 where the scariest things are wind and mold! Listen in as they discuss cynical priests, the overuse of animal deaths, and hodge-podge religious references. William Shatner warmly invites you to our review of The Horror at 37,000 Feet!

 

Time stamps:

0:03:27 - Background

0:32:00 - Film Summary

0:56:50 - The Good

1:01:25 - The Bad

1:11:35 - The Ugly

1:23:25 - Improvements

Dec 1, 2018

Freddy vs Jason. Alien vs Predator. Abbott vs Costello. There's a long and storied tradition of horror movie monsters duking it out in the cinema and leaving a trail of victims in their wake. It should be a simple formula, but as Tom and Ryan discover, it can go wrong in 1000 different ways! What Hollywood icons had this as their final movie? Why are there three different plots happening? Where should you turn if Dracula is giving you directions? Find out all this and more in our review of Dracula vs. Frankenstein!

Time stamps:

0:04:50 - Background

0:33:30 - Film Summary

1:11:18 - The Good

1:13:55 - The Bad

1:24:11 - The Ugly

1:41:35 - Improvements

Oct 15, 2018

It's creepy and it's kooky, mysterious and...that's about it. It's our annual Halloween episode, and this time we watch a horror movie so impossibly bad, it's scary. A monster that looks like a rejected carpet store mascot has come to earth to consume humans! Who can stop this beast? Some soldiers? A man with a grenade? Tom and Ryan ask themselves these questions while reflecting on why this film deserves a place among the all-time worst movies ever made. It's...The Creeping Terror!

Time stamps:

0:04:10 - Background

0:23:55 - Film Summary

0:39:30 - The Good

0:44:25 - The Bad

0:58:52 - The Ugly

1:08:50 - Improvements

Aug 15, 2018

They're creepy, they're crawly, they want to suck your blood! No, not vampire-centipede hybrids...leeches! And they're all over this cheaply made swamp-stomping monster flick. Join Tom and Ryan as they investigate the right way to fish with dynamite, recoil at this movie's attitude toward women and the environment, and ultimately ask themselves what the heck makes for a movie becoming a "cult classic" anyway? Don't flip your canoe, it's our review of Attack of the Giant Leeches!

Time stamps:

0:04:35 - Background

0:22:13 - Film Summary

0:41:39 - The Good

0:46:36 - The Bad

0:58:40 - The Ugly

1:14:15 - Improvements

Jun 15, 2018

As Indiana Jones could tell you, archaeological expeditions can easily go sideways. Who knows what you might unearth while you're exploring the ruins of ancient peoples? Join Tom and Ryan as they discover the dangers hidden in ancient tombs, learn the differences between pictographs and petroglyphs, and find out how a San Bernadino District Attorney ties into this mess. It's our review of Teenagers Battle the Thing!

Time stamps:

0:04:30 - Film Summary

0:15:10 - Background

0:26:30 - The Good

0:30:50 - The Bad

0:43:20 - The Ugly

0:51:25 - Improvements

 

Jun 1, 2018

It's another creature feature from the 50s, as well as another Bert I. Gordon joint, where a giant spider is on the loose! Can a high school science teacher and two obnoxious teens save this small town? We discuss the possibilities while also chatting about exterminators in a daycare, failing to empathize with your main characters, and which double-bill featuring this film would be the worst. Come out of your cave and listen to our review of Earth vs. The Spider!

 

Time stamps:

0:03:55 - Film Summary

0:24:48 - Background

0:42:09 - The Good

0:53:58 - The Bad

1:01:24 - The Ugly

1:12:48 - Improvements

Apr 2, 2018

In the year 2889, if man is still alive, if woman can survive, they may find Tom and Ryan still suffering through this post-apocalyptic snoozer. Not even irradiated mutants can inject excitement into this film from the 1960s that features everything you'd expect: swimming pools, jugs of moonshine, and absolutely zero tension. You can also expect to find discussion about the all-important title of "schlockmeister," the right way to remake Roger Corman films, and the protection of child actors. So pour out the water, get yourself some fresh, raw meat, and settle in for our discussion of In the Year 2889!

 

Time stamps:

0:02:45 - Film Summary

0:27:48 - Background

0:50:55 - The Good

0:55:30 - The Bad

1:01:55 - The Ugly

1:16:33 - Improvements

Mar 2, 2018

Calling all luchadors! There are evil mummies on the loose in the Mexican town of Guanajuato, and only a veritable super-team of lucha libre stars can stop them! Join Tom, Ryan, and Jess as they grapple with this over-the-top piece of Mexican cinema "starring" El Santo. But don't be surprised if the discussion turns to such things as the Guanajuato tourism board, the best restaurants in Guadalupe, or a countdown of the many masks of Mil Mascaras. Get ready to suplex Satan in The Mummies of Guanajuato!

 

Time Stamps:

0:03:28 - Film Summary

0:29:05 - Background

0:41:57 - The Good

0:49:13 - The Bad

0:58:20 - The Ugly

1:09:25 - Improving the Film

Jan 15, 2018

The Corman Crew cranked out another face-meltingly poor horror film, and Tom and Ryan get to sit through it! Not even the trio of Jack Nicholson, Boris Karloff, and Francis Ford Coppola can save this snoozer of a ghost story that reads like a discarded early draft from Edgar Allen Poe. So give a listen as we talk about editing errors, the Jack Nicholson voice, and demonized femininity in The Terror!

 

Episode Time Stamps

0:02:25 - Film Summary

0:31:28 - Film Background

1:06:55 - The Good

1:15:20 - The Bad

1:27:23 - The Ugly

1:45:30 - Improving the Film

1:48:22 - Email

Nov 1, 2017

The horror-comedy genre has a long and storied tradition of pretty terrible films, but this might just stand head-and-shoulders above the rest! Listen to Tom and Ryan talk about such timely topics as the 1980 Olympics, the rescue of baby Jessica, and musical numbers on mini-golf courses! So get that submarine out of your stomach and listen to our review of Saturday the 14th Strikes Back!

 

Episode Time Stamps
 
0:02:30 - Film Summary
 
0:12:18 - Film Background 
 
0:36:50 - The Good

0:45:14 - The Bad

1:01:55 - The Ugly
 
1:20:06 - Improving the Film

Oct 15, 2017

A mad scientist is hell-bent on making a woman beautiful again after a waffle iron accident leaves her mildly scarred. Tom and Ryan discuss all the ins and outs of this cheesy sci-fi horror flick, such as the ways in which all-engulfing flames can leave minor scars, the things that Billy Idol and this movie have in common, and the many mistreatments of women that can be packed into an hour and twenty minutes. Load up on Derma-28, because it's time to discuss Atom Age Vampire!

Episode Time Stamps

0:03:10 - Film Summary

0:39:45 - Film Background

0:51:33 - The Good

1:01:40 - The Bad

1:13:45 - The Ugly

1:32:06 - Improving the Film

Sep 1, 2017

Special guest Brian joins Tom and Ryan to talk about another 1970s horror cheese-fest that includes Sam Elliott, miscellaneous amphibians, and a whole lot of clumsy deaths. The discussion naturally veers to such topics as the coloration of film credits, largemouth bass making dolphin noises, and Ted, the failed creature wrangler. Nothing will get in the way of your special day if you listen in to our review of Frogs!

Episode Time Stamps
 
0:05:00 - Film Summary
 
0:41:03 - Film Background 
 
1:02:20 - The Good

1:11:38 - The Bad

1:22:55 - The Ugly
 
1:34:40 - Improving the Film

Aug 15, 2017
Special guest Lacey joins Tom and Ryan to discuss an early 60s beach-party horror musical that's somewhat lacking in beaches, music, or horror. Along the way they try to determine what words are okay to use on the Internet, whether fish-creatures qualify as zombies, and what needs to happen to turn Eulabelle into the greatest film protagonist of all time. Join us as we zombie stomp our way through The Horror of Party Beach! Don't forget the sodium! (Also guest starring Sammy Terry.)
 
 
Episode Time Stamps
 
0:02:30 - Film Summary
 
0:28:43 - Film Background 
 
0:47:30 - The Good
 
0:58:05 - The Bad
 
1:14:32 - The Ugly
 
1:33:40 - Improving the Film
Aug 1, 2017
Special guest Claude joins us for an XL-sized episode that's chock-full of talk about a weird, Lynchian zombie film from the 1970s. Along the way we tackle such important questions as: When will video games stop using audio diaries? What do you do if you're being watched by Lee Harvey Oswald? Is Howard the Duck a scarier horror movie than this film? And is it okay to knit while going to the theater? All of this, plus so much more in our rundown of Messiah of Evil! We may be ugly old men, but we're harmless!
 
 
Episode Time Stamps
 
0:06:45 - Film Summary
 
1:11:55 - Film Background 
 
1:38:00 - The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, and More
 
2:08:15 - Improving the Film
Jun 15, 2017
The Master would approve of this very special one year anniversary episode as Tom and Ryan tackle a cult classic and one of the worst films of all time, Manos: The Hands of Fate! Come listen to the story of how Manos came to be and find out exactly why this film is so terrible in every regard. Our one piece of advice? Never make a bet with a fertilizer salesman.
 
 
Episode Time Stamps
 
0:05:04 - Film Summary
 
0:21:20 - Film Background 
 
0:50:12 - The Good
 
0:53:14 - The Bad
 
1:06:55 - The Ugly
 
1:27:00 - Improving the Film
Feb 1, 2017
It's the second film in our Roger Corman comedy-horror block! This time a vicious sea monster is out to kill some criminals smuggling Cuban treasure into the United States--and you thought the Bay of Pigs was bad! Put your ear to the door and listen as Tom and Ryan (alias: Ryan and Tom) dream of the Corman film factory, trade all of their utilities for Park Place, and learn how this film is linked to two Mission Impossible movies. You can't hear a thing through that door, can you?
 
 
Episode Time Stamps
 
0:02:39 - Film Summary
 
0:21:48 - Film Background 
 
0:41:42 - The Good
 
0:53:47 - The Bad
 
1:05:00 - The Ugly
 
1:15:42 - Improving the Film
Jan 15, 2017
Could we have finally come across a movie we actually like? Is it possible there's a Roger Corman film out there that's actually pretty good? Listen in as Tom and Ryan order guava-and-wheat-germ pancakes, develop a Maxwell quote button, share their families' blood soup recipes, and speculate on whether Walter Paisley is actually Dr. Who. Repetition is death, and everything else is graham crackers, man.
 
 
Episode Time Stamps
 
0:04:48 - Film Summary
 
0:35:30 - Film Background 
 
1:01:15 - The Good
 
1:19:38 - The Bad
 
1:32:15 - The Ugly
 
1:42:32 - Improving the Film
 
1:47:29 - Email
Nov 15, 2016
Every hunter will tell you that there is no more vicious or deadly a creature than the tiny shrew. And any sci-fi moviegoer will tell you to stay far, far away from the film The Killer Shrews. But Tom and Ryan aren't known for listening to good advice, so they watch and discuss it anyway! Listen in as they chat about the best dog costumes, the solution to the overpopulation problem, and why a dull, alive woman is preferable to the alternative. Who knows, maybe they'll even bust out a hilarious prank of J. Edgar Hoover!
 
 
Episode Time Stamps:
 
 
0:02:45 - Film Summary
 
0:38:00 - Film Background 
 
0:59:05 - The Good
 
1:10:30 - The Bad
 
1:24:35 - The Ugly
 
1:40:15 - Improving the Film
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