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School of Schlock

A podcast for B-movie discussion. A new film is discussed on the 1st and 15th of every month.
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School of Schlock
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Now displaying: Category: action
Mar 1, 2024

It's time for another family-friendly 90s martial arts movie, but this one is really something special. Three kids are gifted the power of the Dragon and have to fight their way through an impressively bad piece of cinema! Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about zen-filmmaking, Edward Said, and why kids, in general, deserve better.. It's our review of Pocket Ninjas!

 

Time stamps:

0:03:30 - Background

0:15:45 - Summary

0:25:40 - Notable Scenes

0:33:25 - The Good

0:35:55 - The Bad

0:57:00 - The Ugly

Jun 16, 2023

It's been a while since we had a true-blue kung fu martial arts movie, so we figured it was time to get our fists flying and our feet kicking with a mystical early 80's fighting film from Taiwan. Can Shaolin Fox unravel the mystery of the Purple Jade Badger? How many people will die along the way? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about cheap sound effects, bad sound stages, and unsound camera work in this Wu Tang Collection classic. It's our review of Shaolin Fox Conspiracy!

 

Time Stamps:


0:03:55 - Background

0:18:35 - Summary

0:33:55 - Notable Scenes

0:42:10 - The Good

0:46:10 - The Bad

0:59:25 - The Ugly

May 16, 2023

A former DEA agent confronts the evil cabal who kidnapped his brother. The trailer calls this film "part RoboCop, part Terminator," but...is it? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about island tourism, lazy action sequences, and changing your pants in the bed of a truck! It's our review of Cyborg Cop!

 

Time Stamps:


0:05:10 - Background

0:19:35 - Summary

0:32:30 - Notable Scenes

0:40:20 - The Good

0:45:10 - The Bad

0:59:50 - The Ugly

Apr 15, 2023

It's not often that we come across a movie that makes us reflect on the big questions: what is art? What qualifies as a movie? Why the hell did we watch this? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk self-aggrandizing actors, dream logic editing, katana-wielding priests, and of course, Zen filmmaking. It's our review of The Legend of the Rollerblade Seven!


Time stamps:

0:03:45 - Background

0:30:40 - Summary

0:33:30 - Notable Scenes

0:51:00 - The Good

0:57:30 - The Bad

1:04:05 - The Ugly

Feb 1, 2023

Rocky, Million-Dollar Baby, Real Steel...just how many fighting sport films are out there, anyway? This film makes the case that there's at least one too many! Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss porno credits, wrestling vs kickboxing, and Maine-based community theater. It's our review of Final Impact!

 

Time stamps:

0:02:30 - Background

0:22:00 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:31:40 - Notable Scenes

0:40:05 - The Good

0:44:40 - The Bad

0:57:30 - The Ugly

Sep 1, 2022

What's more exciting than transportation logistics? If you said "anything," then we'd like to change your mind with this 70's made-for-TV action film about truckin'! Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss highway weight limits, one-sheriff towns, and good truckin' buddies. It's our review of Hijack!

 

Time stamps:

0:03:50 - Background

0:23:25 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:33:05 - Notable Scenes

0:41:35 - The Good

0:46:10 - The Bad

0:59:35 - The Ugly

Jul 15, 2022

Finally it's time to tackle a good ol' buddy-style action-comedy! And what better buddy pair could we ask for than Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson? Join Tom and Ryan as they look at a sequel that kicks and punches its way through London. On the way they'll discuss writing v. fighting, British imperialism, and blowing up Donnie Yen with a firework. It's our review of Shanghai Knights!

 

Time stamps:

0:03:45 - Background

0:29:05 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:38:35 - Notable Scenes

0:47:00 - The Good

0:52:20 - The Bad

1:07:10 - The Ugly

Apr 15, 2022

It's sequel time! Why would we stop at watching only one Highlander film when there are so many others to be explored? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about bad coordinates, worse romances, and the worst retconning we've ever seen. Listen and you'll agree, "there can be only one" review for Highlander II: The Quickening!

 

Time stamps:

0:03:20 - Background

0:29:50 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:49:45 - Notable Scenes

0:59:00 - The Good

1:01:15 - The Bad

1:16:45 - The Ugly

Feb 15, 2022
You probably shouldn't watch a sequel without seeing the film it's a sequel of, but we're going to do it anyway! And really, watching the first Universal Soldier won't improve this one. Join Tom and Ryan as we talk about unnecessary sequels, sexy mustaches, robotic acting, and Magic planeswalkers. It's our review of Universal Soldier II: Brothers in Arms!  

Time stamps:

0:03:40 - Background

0:29:10 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:35:55 - Notable Scenes

0:43:40 - The Good

0:48:45 - The Bad

1:03:05 - The Ugly

Dec 1, 2021

After so many old B-movies, it can feel refreshing to watch a Hollywood blockbuster that you remember seeing in theaters. But does this tale of campy vampires, sexy werewolves, and horny priests actually hold up? Join Tom, Ryan, and special guest Jess to talk about all the important elements of an action adventure film, like dubious accents, unused weaponry, and Spanish guitar! It's our review of Van Helsing!

 

Time stamps:

0:05:15 - Background

0:29:25 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:42:00 - Notable Scenes

0:50:10 - The Good

1:04:05 - The Bad

1:17:15 - The Ugly

Mar 15, 2021

Iconic 80s action cinema is here! We finally take on a cult-classic that has become its own cultural touchstone with the immortal line: "There can be only one!" Listen in on the head-chopping action as Tom and Ryan discuss (anti-) climactic fights, votive candles, meta-humor, and Egyptian-Spanish-Scotsmen in Japan! It's our one-and-only review of The Highlander!

 

Time stamps:

0:03:20 - Background

0:18:05 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:32:55 - Notable Scenes

0:39:30 - The Good

0:44:40 - The Bad

1:01:15 - The Ugly

Mar 1, 2021

Nazis are all-time classic bad guys. Or at least all-time since World War 2. Regardless, everyone should be able to get behind destroying camps full of Nazi scum, and that's exactly what this corny action flick from 1987 indulges in! Join Tom and Ryan as they touch on relevant topics such as racism, James Bond, and Olympic volleyball players. Call over your best baboon sidekick and listen in to our review of The Order of the Black Eagle!

 

Time stamps:

0:03:20 - Background

0:18:05 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:32:55 - Notable Scenes

0:39:30 - The Good

0:44:40 - The Bad

1:01:15 - The Ugly

Dec 1, 2020

Where do you go when you need radioactive materials in the post-apocalypse? Look no further than Captain Strike, AKA Rage, a wasteland survivor with muscle, smarts, and a too-tight tank-top! Listen in as Tom and Ryan discuss a film that features strange soundtrack choices, inappropriate clothing, and The Bible. It's our review of the Italian action schlock film, A Man Called Rage!

 

Time stamps:

0:03:22 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:13:15 - Background

0:20:35 - Notable Scenes

0:33:20 - The Good

0:37:00 - The Bad

0:53:52 - The Ugly

Sep 15, 2020

He was a legend of martial arts who passed away far too young; the legacy of Bruce Lee can be felt today throughout action films. But what did seedy Hong Kong B-movie makers do to exploit that legacy just after Lee died? Join Tom and Ryan to find out as they talk all things Bruce Lee and Bruce Lee knock-offs, while also discussing such relevant topics as Popeye, sexual assassination, and the best method for stopping Dracula. There's all-star line-up of fictional characters just waiting in our review of The Dragon Lives Again!

 

Time stamps:

0:03:10 - Background

0:16:20 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:27:23 - Notable Scenes

0:34:12 - The Good

0:40:30 - The Bad

0:56:13 - The Ugly

Jul 3, 2020

A heist movie. A war film. An adventure flick. Join Tom and Ryan as they watch a movie that tries to be all that and more, which ends up meaning it's incredibly uneven and strange. They also discuss disco music, character deaths (or the lack thereof), and perhaps the most star-studded film work we've ever watched for this podcast. It's our review of Escape to Athena!

 

Time stamps:

0:04:20 - Background

0:29:30 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:35:12 - The Good

0:46:05 - The Bad

1:06:55 - The Ugly

Apr 1, 2020

A film where cool heroes spray bullets at terrorist bad guys? 80's action has never looked so hot! Or so disjointed and fake! Join Tom and Ryan as they delve into a dubbed (and then re-dubbed) action film that's practically unwatchable! We also discuss important topics like the French ninja genre, landmines, and being not-Clint Eastwood. What more could you want? Don your sexiest commando outfit and check out our review of Operation Las Vegas!

 

Time Stamps:

0:04:05 - Background

0:16:00 - Back-of-the-box Summary

0:22:30 - Notable Scenes

0:39:10 - The Good

0:46:10 - The Bad

0:59:30 - The Ugly

Dec 1, 2019

As any Cybertruck enthusiast can tell you, vehicles of the future are a big deal! Especially if that future is rife with warlords, raiders, survivor compounds, and other Mad Max-inspired dystopian fixtures! Join us as we talk all about angular truck designs, the failures of a patchwork aesthetic, and of course John Ratzenberger. Prepare to live shiny and chrome through our review of Battletruck!

Time Stamps:

0:06:20 - Background

0:16:20 - Back-of-the-box Summary

0:19:35 - Notable Scenes

0:35:45 - The Good

0:41:25 - The Bad

0:55:10 - The Ugly

Aug 1, 2019

In the future, justice has been automated, the US government infiltrated, and cyborg hunters are sent to assassinate their targets at any cost. No, it's not The Terminator. No, it's not Judge Dredd. It's an early 90s D-grade action film marriage of the two! Join us as we discuss digital assistants, Dutch angles, and deadly kick-boxers, all while wondering what year this movie takes place in. Grab a hydro-dog and have a seat for our review of Cyber Tracker!

 

Time stamps:

0:03:40 - Background

0:16:55 - Film Summary

0:47:06 - The Good

0:48:15 - The Bad

1:08:52 - The Ugly

1:17:00 - Improvements

Oct 1, 2018

When there's a villain who needs to be stopped, which international super-spy do you call in to do the job? ...Ok, well what if he's busy? ...Ok, well, eventually, somewhere down the list, you'll find the name Charles Hood. Join Tom and Ryan as they watch Mr. Hood deal in pornography, sightsee in Portugal, and treat women like dirt! It's all in the name of stopping a hardened criminaland his flying confessional. It's our review of Hammerhead! Hammerheeeeaaad! Hammerheeeeeeeeaaaaaaad!

Time stamps:

0:03:30 - Background

0:30:53 - Film Summary

1:12:15 - The Good

1:17:44 - The Bad

1:28:35 - The Ugly

1:43:00 - Improvements

Sep 15, 2018

Part 2 of our 1984 action movie block absolutely sizzles with poor writing and a disjointed plot! What happens in a future where motorcycle gangs run rampant? The answer is: a whole lot and nothing at all! Join Tom and Ryan as they fly kamikaze model planes, read Insect Man #47, and determine how this movie compares to a grocery store cake. Stop jousting, take off those skull masks, and listen to our review of City Limits!

Time stamps:

0:03:56 - Background

0:25:58 - Film Summary

0:48:21 - The Good

0:54:57 - The Bad

1:06:45 - The Ugly

1:21:40 - Improvements

Sep 4, 2018

We've got another crappy 80's action film on our hands, and this one doles out the pain in a meandering, lackadaisical fashion. A flamethrower and a welding mask do not an exciting movie make. Listen in as Tom and Ryan discuss an arms race of atrocities, the differences between dump-trucks and trash trucks, and post-apocalyptic gangs in modern-day settings. Vigilante justice is here in the form of our review of Exterminator 2!

Time stamps:

0:02:40 - Background

0:30:12 - Film Summary

0:56:33 - The Good

1:04:52 - The Bad

1:13:18 - The Ugly

1:27:20 - Improvements

Mar 15, 2018

If there are any constants in life, they are death, taxes, and bad movies based on video games. This episode doesn't focus much on death or taxes, but it definitely takes aim at this cheesy piece of 90s cinema that tried to capture the gaming crowd. Tom and Ryan wield the powers of Body and Soul as they talk about roided-up supermutants, The Big Quake of 2007, and the significance of Iron Chef America. As a special bonus, you also get to learn what faction Tom played back in his Warhammer 40,000 days. Plus our first comment from an international listener! You get all of this and some choice quotes from Andy Dick during our review of Double Dragon!

 

Time stamps:

0:04:04 - Film Summary

0:36:28 - Background

1:12:35 - The Good

1:19:20 - The Bad

1:27:58 - The Ugly

1:43:34 - Improvements

1:45:25 - Listener Comments

 

Dec 1, 2017

What do you get if you take the director of the Poseidon Adventure, add in Sean Connery, Karl Malden, Henry Fonda, and Natalie Wood, and mix in some experienced screenwriters tackling one of the hottest genres of their time? The answer is: you get a big boring mess! Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about Oscar winning people, learn who was complimented by Charlie Chaplin, find out what happens when you decide not to go with John Williams as your composer, and get a lesson on what name might be said more frequently on Chinese college campuses than any other. All this and more as we review the 1979 disaster movie, Meteor!

 

Episode Time Stamps

0:04:30 - Film Summary
 
0:30:15 - Film Background 
 
1:05:05 - The Good

1:12:55 - The Bad

1:23:55 - The Ugly
 
1:36:38 - Improving the Film

Jul 15, 2017
Special guest Raven joins us from Fantom Comics in D.C. to talk about a movie that misses the mark when it comes to blockbuster superhero action. Listen in as we talk about car theft, diners that house secret bases, and a President willing to kick some ass in the name of environmentalism. Raven also helps us try to reconcile this film's plot with the actual backstory of the comic book characters it depicts. If you're wondering "do they succeed?" my answer is: Is the Red Skull Italian? Find out in our discussion of the 1990 cheesefest, Captain America!
 
 
Episode Time Stamps
 
0:04:46 - Film Summary
 
0:44:10 - Film Background 
 
1:00:40 - The Good
 
1:11:20 - The Bad
 
1:28:55 - The Ugly
 
1:44:55 - Improving the Film
Jul 1, 2017
Special guest Spencer joins us from "High and Low: A Kurosawa Podcast" to discuss what is most assuredly NOT a Kurosawa film: a cheaply made chopsocky kung fu film from Taiwan. Join us as we answer the most pressing questions about this movie, such as: which costumes would RuPaul wear? Does the film meet the criteria for Six Degrees of Wu-Tang? And is this all really an allegory for a Chinese restaurant in Arizona? Don't wait nineteen years to find out! Listen to our review of Return of the Kung Fu Dragon!
 
 
Episode Time Stamps
 
0:05:48 - Film Summary
 
0:40:29 - Film Background 
 
0:48:43 - The Good
 
1:00:10 - The Bad
 
1:16:06 - The Ugly
 
1:26:29 - Improving the Film
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