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School of Schlock

A podcast for B-movie discussion. A new film is discussed on the 1st and 15th of every month.
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Now displaying: Category: fantasy
Nov 15, 2022

There's almost a comfort in returning to the sword-and-sorcery genre. It's time for an 80s fantasy film inspired by Heavy Metal aesthetics that isn't shy about indulging in excess. Join Tom and Ryan as they talk bad beheadings, non-stop nudity, and evasive editing in this cheesy flick. It's our review of Deathstalker!

 

Time stamps:

0:03:20 - Background

0:17:40 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:24:25 - Notable Scenes

0:30:05 - The Good

0:34:20 - The Bad

0:45:55 - The Ugly

Aug 1, 2022

It's the mid-2000s and fantasy is IN thanks to Lord of the Rings! Unfortunately wer're stuck with a D-grade attempt at an LotR-style fantasy movie based on a video game, headed by Uwe Boll. Join Tom and Ryan as they talk action stars, over-acting, and cramming too much plot into one poorly paced film. It's our review of In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Seige Tale!

 

Time stamps:

0:04:10 - Background

0:42:15 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:52:15 - Notable Scenes

1:03:15 - The Good

1:10:10 - The Bad

1:26:10 - The Ugly

Oct 1, 2021

Prophecies! Quests! Hunting for missing treasures! A day at the Renaissance Faire! This family-friendly medieval(?) adventure has it all! Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about the aforementioned RenFaires, Archimedes's No Girls Allowed policy, the duality of man, and of course Hotlantis. It's our review of Quest of the Delta Knights!

 

Time stamps:

0:05:00 - Background

0:23:50 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:36:10 - Notable Scenes

0:43:20 - The Good

0:50:15 - The Bad

1:05:05 - The Ugly

Nov 15, 2020

We're back to looking at another modern Hollywood blockbuster that failed to live up to expectations! This time, a steampunk adventure turns out to be Sean Connery's final film role. Join Tom, Ryan, and special guest Sami as they delve into such important topics such as how a film falls apart, what not to do with your female characters, and what audiences are looking for in supergroup team-ups. It's our feature-length mega-review of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen!

Time stamps:

0:04:35 - Background

0:37:23 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:41:50 - Notable Scenes

1:02:00 - The Good

1:12:27 - The Bad

1:29:23 - The Ugly

Sep 1, 2020

What happens when science goes too far...in 20,000 B.C.?!? That fascinating question is at the heart of this sci-fi tinted sword-and-sandals Italian epic. Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about mind transplants, pit fights, and what it means to have a film with no texture. Oh, also they get into the subject of geothermal-based apocalypses. Set your magnetic devices to listen in on our review of The Giant of Metropolis.

 

Time stamps:

0:03:07 - Background

0:13:53 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:19:40 - Notable Scenes

0:32:30 - The Good

0:38:52 - The Bad

1:02:00 - The Ugly

Jun 8, 2020

The 1980s were the peak decade for sword-and-sorcery fantasy cinema...and that means that a whole lot of B-grade fantasy films were produced. Some films tried to stand out by fully indulging in some grindhouse-style nudity, and Tom and Ryan are stuck watching one of those! Along the way they discuss mud wrestling (naturally), as well as Phil Spector, Internet user movie reviews, and the value of a sneering villain. It's our review of Barbarian Queen II: The Empress Strikes Back!

 

Time Stamps:

0:04:15 - Background

0:26:10 - Back-of-the-box Summary

0:31:40 - Notable Scenes

0:44:28 - The Good

0:51:46 - The Bad

1:05:20 - The Ugly

Dec 15, 2019

Who doesn't love A Christmas Carol? This classic Victorian novel about good will and the Christmas spirit has been told and retold countless times, so what could be so bad about another film adaptation of it? Join Tom and Ryan as they learn about how bad it can get when you make a modern Hallmark version about a selfish TV talk show host. There's also plenty of talk about Diff'rent Strokes, romance montages, and adapting works while missing the point of the originals. It's our festive, seasonal review of A Carol Christmas!

Time Stamps:

0:03:20 - Background

0:25:28 - Back-of-the-box Summary

0:28:50 - Notable Scenes

0:48:05 - The Good

0:56:55 - The Bad

1:11:18 - The Ugly

Dec 15, 2018

It's the time of year to spread holiday cheer! And who better to spread holiday cheer than a steroid-using washed up racist wrestler by the name of Hulk Hogan? Join Tom, Ryan, and special guest Jess as they review a mid-90s Christmas movie mistake that everyone would just as soon forget. And don't fret, because they also talk about Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake, The Wolf of Wall Street, and the danger of candy canes as weapons. Cook up some reindeer meat and enjoy our review of Santa with Muscles!

Time stamps:

0:05:25 - Background

0:44:35 - Film Summary

1:09:40 - The Good

1:13:55 - The Bad

1:25:10 - The Ugly

1:40:47 - Improvements

Jul 17, 2018

By the gods, it's time to watch a film based on mythology! There are so many fascinating myths and intriguing characters that surely a film based on myth has to be interesting...or at least watchable, right? Well this week Tom and Ryan endure a film that puts the lie to that assumption, as they chat about sword-and-sandal epics, intense misogyny, and very Italian films stars like Gordon Mitchell. Put on a lizard costume and listen to our review of Vulcan, Son of Jupiter!

Time stamps:

0:04:25 - Background

0:22:26 - Film Summary

0:36:30 - The Good

0:44:48 - The Bad

0:56:16 - The Ugly

1:11:40 - Improvements

Apr 15, 2018

If you grew up in the 1980s, you probably knew all about He-Man. But were you one of the lucky youths to experience the live-action movie from 1987? Whether you were or not, you should listen to Tom and Ryan discuss this sword-and-sorcery-comes-to-America adventure. Come learn all about this film's connections to the Rocky franchise, why its climactic fight scene was shot in the dark, and of course, what it means to move twenty metrons poleward. Play a little ditty on your Cosmic Key and listen to our review of Masters of the Universe!

Time stamps:

0:04:10 - Film Summary

0:33:43 - Background

1:09:37 - The Good

1:15:23 - The Bad

1:24:15 - The Ugly

Dec 15, 2017

Ho ho ho! Santa has to fight the Devil for the souls of earth's children, but with a little Merlin magic and Santa's army of child laborers, Christmas just might be saved! Tom and Ryan take in this delightful, terrifying holiday romp, and along the way they tackle such Yuletide topics as Western views of Africa, using a traveling carnival to launch your film career, and what an alternate-reality version of Ryan might be like. So double-check your Christmas lists to ensure that you asked for a rocket, an atomic laboratory, and our review of the Mexican family classic, Santa Claus!

 

Episode Time Stamps

0:03:36 - Film Summary
 
0:39:58 - Film Background 
 
0:54:25 - The Good

0:57:14 - The Bad

1:08:48 - The Ugly
 
1:21:30 - Improving the Film

Nov 15, 2017

Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles...no, we're not watching The Princess Bride this week, but instead a crappy 1960s fantasy that indulges the many tropes of fantasy films while also doing nothing with them! Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss fantasy-relevant topics such as Sherlock Holmes, "freak show" voyeurism, and terrible Irish accents. This podcast is hotter than the 4th curse (out of 7) as we discuss The Magic Sword!

 

Episode Time Stamps

0:02:37 - Film Summary
 
0:40:31 - Film Background 
 
1:03:38 - The Good

1:08:30 - The Bad

1:22:02 - The Ugly
 
1:33:50 - Improving the Film

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